Hi there, friend!

Our New Yorker of the Week is Doris. She’s 20, lives in Manhattan, and is looking for friendship and love. Reach out to [email protected] if you’re interested in connecting!

Ready to make some new friends and/or go on some cute dates yourself? Fill out the application here, you fabulous fall leaf!

Now, onto the fun stuff:

How would someone who loves you describe you?

A person who loves me would describe me as a very sensitive person with hiding behind a stable temperament. I have often identified myself since I was a child with being mature, responsible, artistic, and full of creativity. I was fascinated by foreign languages and always came up with creative ways to engage in play. I am interested in psychology, self help, shadow work and understanding the internal splits within ourselves and finding the root behind our behaviors. I also enjoy travel, have previously studied architecture, and my loved ones would say I am very interested in intellectual conversations.

A flaw of mine might be my sensitivity, deemed by some as such, and I also have thought that way for a while. But having done inner work, I have discovered sensitivity is our guiding compass and thrives when we are externally supported. My friends and loved ones would also say I come across as independent, but internally quite crave support from others. I thrive and do my best when I feel grounded in my environment; finding that in deep friendships, consideration by others and being anticipated for my needs. Overall, I am a sensitive, curious, fun and artistic person.

What sorts of things do you want to do with your friends?

My favorite activities to do with my friends are at home gatherings, cooking together, exploring cities, trying new restaurants, book stores and libraries, as well as museums and ballet or opera shows. I don't consider myself a party person, unless it's at home with people I care about. Rather, I enjoy lounges with a drink and some appetizers. My Albanian heritage also impacts my favorite activities, as we often do multicultural gatherings with friends, and learn each others traditional dances. We also enjoy coffee shops and deep talks, often psychoanalyzing each other. I am quite selective about my friend group and like to keep my circle small.

What's something that people might not guess about you?

People might not guess how much reassurance I need from others. We all have internal splits within that have been adopted since childhood, and for me I grew up as the mature, responsible daughter who always had an answer to conflict. Over the years, I have discovered a precious part of me that is often confused and needs to know everything will be okay. And she needs that especially from her closest people. She is almost like a little girl, wanting to be held in someone's arms, being told she will be taken care of. These two opposite parts of me guide me in my life, as I am a very forward moving person who chases her dream life, and also wants to be loved for her "needy" side as well by people who see its preciousness. That part of me is interested in fun, love, support, community and the simplicity of life, and when incorporated in my life, i feel a greater richness and fullness.

Are you looking for love? Tell me about the type of person you're looking for!

The need for romantic love is one that always sparks contradictory thoughts within me. I would love to have a male partner in my life at some point, to enter a long term committed relationship, but I also recognize the complexity of humans, and my own. As an eldest daughter, we tend to need partners who are responsible, take initiative, offer reassurance and allow us to flourish in our freedom. I personally also would love someone who is interested in the same topics I am, especially relative to psychology. I would like to have children in the future, and I want my partner to be aware of how to meet their emotional needs to reduce trauma and end harmful cycles. I would love someone who loves travel, art, ,understands the value of beauty in life, and values the emotional spectrum of the human experience rather than expecting others and themselves to feel the same at all times. I enjoy direct communication and want feedback relative to my wrongdoings and how I am being perceived by them. Many people can do the things I have listed, so I know I will have an internal knowing when my person shows up.

Anything else that the Joy List community can help you with?

I would love to obtain any position in the field of psychology that doesn't require a degree beyond a bachelors. I would enjoy doing some paid work before entering grad school. I am open to multiple types of fields my degree could be applicable for, but preferably I would enjoy a psychology clinic working under a supervisor.

Gatherings

Double check details before you go, and contact the organizers with questions! The Joy List does not run these events.

Monday, September 30: Personal Storytelling for Collective Change

In this 3-week workshop with multidisciplinary artist Jezz Chung, writers will gather to explore personal storytelling as a tool for collective change. The series will cover the following topics in a discussion-based, community setting, and has a focus on liberatory practices for writers at any stage in their career. Be prepared to share with and learn from each other.

The theme of this week is revolutionary healing practices.

Donation-based. 6:30 to 8:30 PM. New Women Space, 188 Woodpoint Rd. Info here.

Monday, September 30: GROUP CHAT: A Brooklyn Book Festival Bookends Event

Join us for a short film screening, panel conversation, and community book swap, in this cozy Brooklyn Book Festival event celebrating chosen family and communal care.

Please bring a book from your shelf that you are ready to part with. We’ll sit together, write some tender epigrams, and offer our newly inscribed books to one another. Who knows, you may even leave with some new community of your own!

$8.46. 7 to 8 PM. Caveat, 21A Clinton St. Info here.

Tuesday, October 1: HMU x Open Social: Developing Non-Monogamous Relationship Agreements

Whether you’re exploring sexual connections, kink dynamics, or full-blown intimate partnerships, non-monogamy creates exciting opportunities not accessible in traditional relationships. It also comes with challenges: considering the needs and desires of multiple people simultaneously is no easy task. How do you balance the need for security with the need for privacy and autonomy? What if exploring shared desires with one connection conflicts with the boundaries of another?

This workshop is designed for anyone practicing non-monogamy who is interested in establishing a set of guidelines or “agreements” with existing partners that can be used as a roadmap while you navigate new experiences.

$23. 7 to 10 PM. 120 Walker St, Floor 5. Info here.

Tuesday, October 1: +1 Queer Mingle

Everyone says they want to meet someone "through friends," and we help make it happen: join us for a queer edition of our signature +1 singles parties! We'll be at The Bush, a "dyke bar for queers," where everyone is welcome.​​Each ticket includes admission for 2 people. Your +1 should be another queer, single friend open to romantic connection. All genders and orientations are welcome. You must bring a friend in order to gain admission. 1 drink minimum.

$25 for 2 people. 7-9 PM. The Bush. Info here.

Wednesday, October 2: a limp wrist; a sweet tooth

“a limp wrist; a sweet tooth.” is a solo dance theatre improvisational conjuring. through surreal subversions of gaze and erotic indulgence, a lesson unfolds on domesticity and butchqueen behavior...

Free. 6:30 PM doors and free food. 7:30 PM performance. Judson Meeting Room, 55 Washington Square South. Info here.

Thursday, October 3: Curiosity Club

Curiosity Club is back at Brooklyn Kava with a doodle therapy session. Come join the club with our awesome art teacher Jessi and we will be utilizing a cathartic art therapy technique where we do some zen doodling and coloring. We will be outside in the lovely fall weather so please come prepared. Materials will be provided. Each week is something new.

$7. 7 PM. Brooklyn Kava, 191 Suydam Ave. Info here.

Friday, October 4: The Bruised Peach Festival

The Bruised Peach Festival is an annual event that celebrates the fusion of indie, new music, and experimental sounds with mysticism and community spirit. Through music, astrology, intuitive experiences, and the camaraderie of like-minded individuals, the festival encourages us all to embrace life's imperfections and connect on a deeper level.

$15 early bird, $18 general admission. 6 PM. Rubulad in Bushwick, address at RSVP. Info here.

Saturday, October 5: Tea + Formation

Tea & Formation is a chance to dip a toe into this style of relating. Together we'll have a moment of stillness, read a poem, write out our thoughts, and then engage in small group conversation.

​You'll leave feeling more connected to yourself, and with a few new friends!

Note from Jillian: I’m co-hosting this!

Free. 3 to 5 PM. Prime Produce. Info here.

Sunday, October 6: All-Levels Contra Dance in Park Slope

Bring your cottagecore hearts and Bridgerton-dance-scene joy to Brooklyn Contra! Contra is an easy-to-learn folk dance (similar to square dancing with some swing dance flair) that comes with a free lesson and live music. Sunday, October 6 is a mask-required event, and dancers of all levels are welcome!

$15. 4:30-8 PM. 399 8th St, Brooklyn. Info here.

Tired of Swiping? Fed Up With Dating? Us Too!

This therapy group will help you identify your values, apply them to the dating process, and learn skills such as mindfulness to help you manage all of the emotions that come up as we date. We will meet 5 times, bi-weekly, on Tuesdays 6-7 PM EST on Zoom starting 10/15 and ending 12/10. For more info follow the link and/or email [email protected]

That's it for this edition. Try something new this week, friends! 

Jillian

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